


Outlaws Never Die

by EGreen96



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Blood and Injury, Bounty Hunters, Character Death, Cute, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, Love, Red Dead Redemption 2 Spoilers, Sad, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Violence, Virginity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:35:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EGreen96/pseuds/EGreen96
Summary: Y/N, a 24 year old has been travelling with the group for a few months now, just before Sadie joined. Beforehand she was alone in the world with nothing to her name. Now she has people she calls family and a big soft spot for our sad cowboy, Arthur Morgan.__________________________Full of love, fluff and angst-I will be following the plot lightly so there are spoilers. just not that /one/ mission that we wont ever talk about here.I suck at summaries, can you tell?__________________________I will update tags as I go on.__________________________





	1. Back In Colter

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my first RDR2 fanfic! constructive criticism is welcome. This is going to be quite a long fanfic with several chapters. slow burning, all different emotions and smut in the later chapters. if you enjoy it, dont forget to let me know so i can carry on writing chapters.
> 
> I live in the UK and have no set time for uploads though this will be updated weekly. thanks for reading.
> 
> Key;  
Y/N- YOUR NAME  
E/C- EYE COLOUR  
H/C- HAIR COLOUR  
Y/H/N - YOUR HORSES NAME
> 
> *No characters are my own, no pictures are my own. This is a fanmade fan-fiction*
> 
> I also do have a Tumblr where you can ask for your own imagine, etc- arthurmorganismaboah
> 
> ____________________________________________________________________________

_________

It had been a few months since the Dutch Van Der Linde gang saved you from Blackwater bounty hunters, since then you had settled right in and helped the gang out in any way that you could. These people had quickly become your family and you couldn’t have been happier, you all depended on each other and everyone had their own jobs. Before this you were alone in the world with nothing to your name, no friends or family, your horse had died within the combustion of Blackwater and you were living with just your bow and arrow, a few tinned supplies and an old satchel that had since been patched up and upgraded by Pearson.

You were currently in Colter after a failed robbery, trying to mask the cold air from your face. Though it was freezing, and you were all hungry, you felt lucky to have actually found an abandoned settlement, actual houses you could stay in for the time being to protect your skin from the bitter weather outside. Sitting alongside Tilly and Mary-Beth you wondered when the others were going to get back.

Dutch and Arthur had since gone out in search of food for the people back at camp and you were starting to get worried about them in the snowstorm. “When do you think they’ll get back?” You turned to Mary-Beth playing with the hem of your huge coat that was protecting you from the harsh weather.

“I’m not sure my lovely, jus’ don’t get yourself in a panic, alright? Those men are tough as nails.” she elbowed you slightly in the ribs, another way of saying she was there. You couldn’t help but worry, the snowstorm was so bad and anyone out there in it was at risk of death.

You laid down on a cot that was broken but was still better than the wooden floor and bit at your already chapped lips. You hated when the group was split up, even though it had to be done from time to time, you needed food and running around with a group of outlaws was never going to be easy. This life was definitely not for the faint hearted, you could lose people any second and you wouldn’t have time to grieve properly, you’d just have to move on. Wrapping your coat around you as much as you could you fell into slumber.

***

“Hey! Somebody’s coming!” Lenny Shouted as he cocked his gun and then let it go, speaking softer, “Looks like it’s Dutch. Hey! Everybody! Dutch is back!”

You woke fast with a thumping in your chest, you never knew if it was going to be good or bad news with things like that. Was everyone going to be ok, did someone get hurt, did they manage to find some food for the people at camp, so many questions running through your mind. You made your way outside to see a new girl slumped on Dutch’s horse, still in her sleepwear looking worse for wear.

“We found some supplies, blankets, little bit of food, and this poor soul, Mrs Adler. Y/N would you warm her up? Give her a drink or something, some new clothes. They turned her into a widow.” Dutch beckoned for you as Sadie walked to you limp and slow.

The poor woman you thought, your heart hurting for her. You looked to your left and saw Arthur walking to his cabin, Micah winding him up as usual. Taking Sadie into the girl’s cabin, you handed her some clothes and a thick coat. She was a lot like you. She couldn’t be bothered with the huge frilly dresses. She was much more of a pants and top kind of girl.

“Thank you, Y/N. You didn’t have to give me your clothes.”

You looked at her and smiled. “Hey, you’re one of us now, and whilst you’re one of us you are family. People do things for family. We care”

You dressed up your cot as best as you could for her with a small cotton blanket and a lantern nearby. Sadie wiped a tear from her cheek. If she was still standing outside it would have froze against her skin.

“Try and get some sleep, okay?” you gave her a slight nod looking to the cot, “I am sure you’re really tired. You’re safe here. All the girls and little Jack stay in this cabin, so it gets quite warm by the end of the night.”

She nodded and laid down as she was lulled to sleep by Tilly and Mary-Beth.

“Poor girl” Tilly said as she ran her fingers slowly through Sadie’s blonde locks. All the girls here were so caring, and it was lovely to see. You left them alone as you ventured out into the snow and found yourself outside Arthur’s cabin.

Holding your coat hard as the snow battered against you, you raised your hand about to knock on the door before he opened it.

“Y/N? is everything okay?”

He stood looking at you, his voice cold and hoarse, you could tell he had been out in the snow for a long time. His hat covering most of his face. He still had bits of snow stuck to his facial hair. You wanted to reach up and melt them with your hands though they were also like ice. His lips chapped like yours, his face red and raw from being in the cold for so long.

“Y/N?”

You had been staring at him for far too long! You stuttered and shook your head fast “sorry, I was miles away.”

“Are ya gonna come in or just stand out there freezing to death?”

He moved out the way letting you into his cabin. You felt warm and you didn’t know if that was because his cabin was warm or just the fact you were so embarrassed. You knew your face was red but that was easily put on the weather outside.

“Sorry to bother you at such a time, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn’t say anything when you got back to camp. I was worried about you.” You looked at Arthur, he was such a handsome man, but he always looked so sad.

“I’m fine Y/N, jus’ Dutch and his usual galivanting around the place.” He pulled his hat further down his face, his eyes would have been covered if you were looking at him in a different angle. “’M jus’ fed up of moving place to place and things always going wrong like it’s a set up or something.”

You looked at him, questioning what he had just said. It was weird, how that robbery ended up botched, but it was way too late and way too cold to sit there questioning things.

“Arthur, can I stay here for the night? I gave up my spot in the cabin for Sadie. I felt like she needed to be comfortable and surrounded by nice people tonight.”

“Sure.”

Even though his hat was tilted over his face you could see his lips curl into a half smile, and it made your heart melt. You had such a soft spot for Arthur Morgan. Ever since you joined the group you could see his loyalty pouring from him, he was a kind-hearted person and you just loved getting to know him. The more you were around him, the more you realised how much you didn’t want to be without him.

Arthur pulled out another huge deer skin and put it on the floor next to his. Opposite the roaring fire and a lantern.

“You okay with sleeping on deer pelt tonight, Y/N?”

Although it wasn’t going to be the most comfortable, you were going to be next to him.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, Mr. Morgan” you chuckled at him and laid down on the floor as he did too.

You were centimetres apart, closer to him than you ever had been before. He took his hat off and placed it next to his satchel. You hardly ever saw him without that hat, his hair was getting long and in need of a slight trim, his long blue coat tight around his person.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Arthur.”

You closed your eyes and fell into slumber.


	2. Cowpoke and the Hussy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah causes havoc as always and you go hunting with Charles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …………………………………………………………………………………………  
Welcome to another chapter, I hope you enjoy it, I am currently writing more chapters. I am really enjoying writing this at the minute.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………

___________________________________

you awoke early, the cold air wrapping itself around you. You had probably only slept for an hour. The wind and snow howling even louder outside as if it could get any worse. The fire had since died out as you lay there shivering, teeth chattering, gripping hold of your coat and the blankets Arthur had given you.

“Y/N, come here.” Arthur’s voice was low, and raspy you realised you had just woke him up with your teeth chattering and you felt bad. He hardly ever got enough sleep. “Y/N, please come here.”

You could barely see him now the fire was down to its last embers, but you could see his outline and his arms open. Scooting up closer he embraced you in his arms. You could feel how strong he was and although it was freezing cold, he felt so warm. He put his head on top of yours, holding you in a way you had never been held before. You felt safe.

“Is that better?”

You nodded and nuzzled into his chest and his breathing hitched. “Thank you, Arthur”

“Mmm?” He was half asleep, his sleepy voice gave you butterflies in your stomach, you’d never heard it before and there was just something about it that made you tingle all over. “Don’t thank me, Y/N. Try and get a bit more sleep before the sun comes up.”

You just nodded and relaxed against his body. Feeling warm and safe, you drifted back off to sleep.

***

Micah came bounding in the cabin. Stomping feet, his hands hooked around his gun holster, not even trying to be quiet. “Come on. Wakey, wakey.” He grinned as your skin crawled.

“Ohh. Look who it is! Cowpoke and the hussy!” You would have usually had a go at him for calling you such a derogatory term, but he did it so much you just gave up with him and wouldn’t sink to his level.

“You got yourself a lady friend there, Morgan? Was wondering where you snuck off to Y/N. Could have come to my cabin instead, I would have warmed you up good and proper.” Arthur’s whole body tensed up and you felt it.

“Oh, go away, Micah. Nobody likes you except Dutch.” Arthur groaned out burying his face in your hair to protect his eyes from the bright light of the outdoors. Micah still standing above where you both lay.

Micah kicked Arthur’s boots, “come on cowpoke. Dutch wants a word. Now!” He turned around on his heals not before looking back at you and winking. “You know where I am, Y/N.” He really was a pathetic excuse of a person, always getting on people’s nerves, causing problems for so many people in camp, constantly getting bounties and putting the gang at risk. Arthur got up, stretched and picked up his holster sliding it around his waist. You watched every second, every movement he made.

“I’m sorry about, Micah. I’ll have a word with him.” He brought you back to reality.

“It’s okay, Arthur. Really. Micah is, well... Micah. I’m used to his constant drone now, however annoying it might be.”

Arthur smiled picking up his hat and placing it on his head. “Y/N?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Don’t pick up on his offer he just made there, please? I’d hate to watch you with someone like him...”

Your heart was thumping in your chest, why was Arthur saying that? Was he... was he jealous? You looked at Arthur. How he tensed up when Micah said about him warming you up properly.

“Oh dear, God! Never! I would never swoop quite that low.”

Arthur breathed out heavily. Was that relief? Or was he just cold? Was I looking into things too much? Probably. Arthur would never like someone like me. I was ten years younger than him, inexperienced. I’d never even kissed anyone. I didn’t dress like a girly girl, every girl around camp carried themselves around perfectly. Amazing dresses, pretty makeup, nice done up hair, always riding horses by side saddle looking majestic and almost like royalty. You might as well have been one of the men compared to the other girls.

“Good, Y/N. I’ll catch you later, okay? Please look after yourself in this weather and don’t stray too far from camp. Promise me?”

“I promise.” You watched Arthur leave and you were alone again. Your hair smelt faintly of Arthur. Stale cigarettes, whiskey and just him. You felt warmth inside your chest. There was just something about him that you couldn’t put your hand on. Standing up and dusting yourself off you looked into a small, broken mirror that was hanging on the wall and started fixing your bed head as much as you could, sticking down stray hairs and running small knots through your fingers. It had been awhile since you last washed your hair and you were hoping you would be able to soon.

Stepping outside the cold air hit you again, it was weirdly quiet around camp but there wasn’t much to talk about these days. Everyone was hungry, cold and no one had much energy with being cold to the bone throughout the day. You stepped inside the girl’s cabin and only Karen was sitting on a cot.

“Y/N! There you are! Where did you sneak off to last night?” Karen questioned neatening her hair and dress, “Everyone else is with Abigail. She’s worried about Marston; he hasn’t been back”

“Still? Is anyone going to go out and look for him?” worry laced your voice, the group had already lost people black in Blackwater, you didn’t want to lose anyone else.

“Arthur and Javier went out to look for him... talking about Arthur, I saw you outside his cabin... you have a soft spot for him, don’t you?” she grinned as she sat down with a bowl of stew. I was starving.

“I... I... no?” you tried to sound convincing, but it was never easy for you to lie. Karen smiled at you and shook her head with a mouth full of stew.

“hey, don’t worry. I’ll not say nothing to no one. Arthur is one of the good men here.” She sat stirring her spoon around her bowl, “You should get some stew. It’s really warming as always; I am sure you’re hungry.”

“yeah, I'll go get some. Catch you later, Karen.” You smiled and left the cabin and went to get some stew from Pearson. It was amazing how he could make the simplest of ingredients taste somewhat good. It was warming and just what you needed in this cold weather.

“I could really do with some more supplies Y/N. Think you could go out with Charles and catch something for us?”

It had been so long since you had been out hunting but you would do what you can for the group, you were a pretty good shot and it would get you out of the camp and away from everyone worrying. You just wanted to forget about what was going on at the minute, you didn’t want to worry yourself silly about Arthur as you always did.

“Sure, I’ll go and get Charles.”

***

You had been travelling with Charles for a while, further from camp just in case wolves came. The last thing you wanted to do was bring wolves back to camp. You were riding a spare horse that Dutch has found the night before, a cute palomino with a dark sandy coat. She was now your horse and you could see yourself becoming very fond of her very quickly.

“This area looks good, there’s some grass uncovered here, and we aren’t the only ones that need to eat” Charles got off his horse, “We should go on foot from here, makes much less noise.”

You followed Charles with your bow clutched in your hands as he did the tracking. You weren’t great at tracking, you could do it, but it would just take a lot longer and you didn’t have the time for that with only a few more hours of daylight.

“There.”

A deer not too far away grazing on uncovered grass, the snowstorm was clearing, and you would be able to move from here soon. Pulling the arrow back from your bow you let go and the deer fell.

“Good shot, Y/N. we will leave that one there for a minute and get one more.”

Following Charles some more for a few feet another deer was minding its own business feasting on the grass. Pulling your arrow back once more and letting go, the second deer fell.

“You really are a good shot, Y/N. I’m impressed. Are you okay to grab that deer or do you want me to do it?”

“no, its okay, Charles. I will do it.” You approached the dead deer and took your arrow. You didn’t like killing things, but it was either that or let the whole camp starve. Everyone has their place in this camp and things just needed to be done. Stowing the deer on your horse you both made your way back to camp knowing you were going to be well fed tonight.


	3. Leaving Colter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to leave colter, some fluff a slight look into Y/N's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __________________________________________  
Another chapter for you, guys. I hope you're enjoying it :)  
__________________________________________

_________________________________

You arrived back to camp and relieved your horse from the heavy load stowed on his back and delivered it to Pearson, you noticed Arthur’s horse hitched nearby and your heart jumped. Almost running through the snow, you looked in the window of john’s cabin. His family was surrounding him, he had an awful looking wound on his face, of what resembled a claw, but he was alive and that was all that mattered. Everyone has lived another day. Smiling to yourself and walking towards Arthurs cabin. You went to see if he was okay.

“Hey, Arthur.”

You stood with your eyes huge, you should have knocked on the door! Arthur was standing with his shirt open; blood pooled and dripping a little over his chest. Although he was hurt you couldn’t help but stand and stare at the toned male in front of you, little hair over his chest, bruises and previous scars from other difficulties he had faced. For someone that didn’t eat much, he was in great shape, his body in perfect proportion.

“I... I’m sorry, I should have knocked.”

“Come in, Y/N. Please close the door behind you though, you’re letting out all of the warm air.” Arthur finished patching himself up with what little supplies he had left before buttoning up his shirt and putting his coat back on.

“Are you okay? I noticed the blood.” You couldn’t quite bring yourself to look at him, you could feel your face flush, you knew it was red without even looking at yourself, the pit of your stomach in knots, butterflies swimming within you.

“I’m fine, Y/N. John ran into trouble up the hill, wolves killed his horse and attacked him. You seen his face? I’d say its an improvement but he’s going to live.” Arthur chuckled to himself, finding his own witty comments amusing. You smiled looking at him “Seems the wolves like me too, they came running once we found him. I had to steer them away. I got caught out a bit, but no damage done, not really.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” you looked at him with sincerity. You both stood and looked at each other for a few seconds, taking in every detail you could see of each other. Dark bags under his eyes where he has hardly slept, his lips still chapped and his face a shade of pink. You didn’t know if he was blushing or if it was just from the weather.

“We will be moving soon, you should probably start packing up, Hosea reckons there’s a place we can hold up for a while, somewhere much warmer than here that’s for sure!” Arthur was packing cans and supplies into his satchel that had also been upgraded and patched up by Pearson. “were moving early morning, so only one more night in this cold.” He stopped and looked to the floor for a second seeing the two deer pelts still on the floor where you both slept last night. “I saw you got two deer earlier, well done Y/N. they look perfect. Clean shots. Where did you learn to do that?”

You sighed and Arthur looked concerned feeling like he had hit a nerve.

“My dad taught me years ago, he must have known I would need the skill in the future and he was right, though he didn’t teach me to track very well.” You smiled and looked to the floor thinking about your old family. They had all died when you were only 15. Your father had got in a lot of trouble and owed people a lot of money. When he needed to pay that money back and couldn’t, they murdered your whole family, except you, they would have if you were there in that house, but you weren’t. You were out robbing people for that money that your family needed so badly before the debt collectors came, but you were too late, you were always too late. Although it wasn’t your fault, you blamed yourself and couldn’t rid that guilt. A stray tear fell down your cheek and Arthur wrapped his arms around you. You were shocked and tensed up but soon relaxed in his arms, burying your face in his chest.

“I shouldn’t have asked, Y/N. I’m really sorry.” He rubbed his hands against your back. The feelings you were having were confusing. Of course, you had hugged people before, but this was so different. It was such a safe feeling, almost a fuzzy feeling in your chest, contentment and even though you were hurting thinking about your old family you felt comfort in his arms, like he could make even the darkest of times better.

“It’s the past, you just have to move on, right? Everything happens for a reason, I wouldn’t have found this group otherwise, I would have never met... you.” You looked up at Arthur, both of your chests touching “Good things always come out of bad and I just have to keep on believing that.” You wanted nothing more than to kiss him right there and then, tell him how you were feeling, how these emotions were taking control, but he pulled away and you felt a little hurt by it.

“We should get something to eat before packing the remaining stuff into the wagons” he held his arm, almost as though he was trying to hug himself.

“Yeah. We should.” You walked out first, not looking back at Arthur. You had embarrassed yourself. Of course, he could feel your heart racing in your chest, of course he could hear your breathing fast paced. If you could melt away and disappear, you would right in that moment. Watching everyone happy, sitting in a big circle in a cabin with a roaring fire and stew you could forget about it for a little while. You decided to sit near the girls and as far away from Arthur as possible.

***

“oh, stop complaining, John. You got yourself in this mess.” Dutch was lifting a cot with the help of Micah with an injured John wrapped up in bundles of blankets onto the last wagon. Everything was set and you were finally going to get out of Colter. Climbing onto the front of a wagon you were greeted by the one person you didn’t want to be with right this second.

“Arthur.” You smiled awkwardly and looked at the other wagons starting to move. Hosea was sitting in the back making sure to keep an eye on the supplies, make sure nothing fell off on your journey.

"Y/N." Arthur smiles, nothing off about him, it was as though the night before didn't happen, or maybe it didn't happen as you thought it did. Maybe you were just thinking over things too much like you usually do. "Did you sleep okay?" he wasn't looking at you, instead he was focusing on the trail ahead of him making sure not to hit any rocks that could potentially make our couple hour journey multiply by much more.

“I slept quite well, all things considering.” You smiled as you started to get warm, being out of the snow was definitely a big difference. The colours of the trees, the grass, the flowers, there were so many colours, not just the same old white that you have been looking at for days. “its lovely here.” You took off your coat and leaned back with your eyes closed. Your plaid shirt hugging your feminine frame, the top button undone exposing the tiniest bit of your chest. Taking in the warmth of the sun, the breeze that was cool but not cold like the snow had been. Arthur smiled watching you, something stirring inside him, taking his eyes off the trail for a second before he caught on to what he was doing and quickly looked back towards the trail.

“It’s been ages since I last saw you without a coat.” Hosea looked at Arthur and then put his head in his hand and shook his head. Arthur cleared his throat realising how silly he had sounded. He never was the smoothest of talkers.

You were getting closer to the destination and you felt like this was the place, this was the place we could build up camp and stay for a while without worrying about moving so quickly.

“Here we are, Horseshoe Outlook!” Dutch called out so everyone could hear. “Everyone unpack, get camp set up, Pearson, get some stew on. Y/N, Arthur, head into Valentine and see what’s here for us. Were home folks, lets settle in!”

You looked to Arthur and sighed, “Guess we don’t get time to settle in just yet!”

“Nope.”

You both got off the wagon and trailed to your horses, “let’s head out, you ready, Arthur?”

“sure, Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __________________________________  
don't forget to leave Kudos and coments if you haven't already so I know to keep writing this. I like knowing people are enjoying this work. thank you and see you in the next chapter xoxo  
_____________________________________


	4. Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exploring with Arthur in Valentine, bath time and a hotel stay that doesn't quite go as planned.
> 
> warnings;
> 
> solo masturbation 
> 
> drunken shenanigans 
> 
> mention of sex
> 
> angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more 'action' in this chapter, guys. hope you enjoy :)  
this is quite a long chapter compared to the others.  
__________________________

__________________________________________

Riding into Valentine with Arthur was different, you had ridden with him before many times, but something about this time was different. You felt more confident around him. Your horses both at the same pace, everything silent except for the horse’s feet on the muddy ground, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was familiar and nice. The silence was broken by others talking, builders working on more houses, people calling in the street to buy their things.

“Look at this place! Actual civilisation!” Arthur watched you smiling and looking around the place, it hadn’t been that long since you had been part of a big civilisation like this but with everything that happened in Blackwater and then being stranded within a huge snow blizzard, it had felt like years since you were last in a town without everyone shooting at you.

“it is quite something. Come on Y/N. Let’s hitch our horses up here and take a look around. Hey, Mister!” you watched Arthur make himself at home already, greeting the locals. He was such a charming man and he really did make your heart swell.

“There’s baths here! Oh, god, Arthur! I need one badly!” you laughed and pointed at your messy hair and muddied clothes.

“we can, I mean you can get one soon if you want to.” He pulled his hat over his face and buried his hands in his satchel, looking down trying to cover the blush over his face. He pulled out a few spare coins and smiled. “here.”

“Aww, Arthur. Do I stink that bad you’re willing to pay for my bath?” you chuckled and elbowed him as he pretended it hurt and gripped his side, his laugh filling your ears with such joy. He didn’t smile or laugh much but when he did you got butterflies in your stomach, an overwhelming sense of happiness watching him be happy. You had gone sweet on him and it was so obvious, just not so much to him.

“I’m going to check out what kind of supplies are in this shop, you go book your bath and we will meet here in about an hour, deal?”

“Deal.” You went into the hotel and booked a room as well as a bath. Nightfall wasn’t for several hours yet, but you hadn’t yet finished looking around Valentine. You also wanted to check out the Saloon and you were sure Mr. Morgan would join you if there was whiskey involved.

***

Stripping out of your dirty clothes, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You had a few scars over your body from previous fights, bullet wound scrapes, you had definitely lost some weight since blackwater, but not so much you looked unhealthy. Still perky breasts that were on the bigger side and an hourglass frame, curves in all the right places, a small mound of tight curls protecting your modesty. You were not a young girl anymore. You were a young woman, 24 years old and yet you’d never been touched, you hadn’t mentioned it to anyone and nor did you want to, you felt ashamed, though you knew you shouldn’t feel that way. Climbing into the bath you let the water wash over you. It felt amazing, you could almost feel the grubbiness fall from you. Putting your head under water you lathered soap all over your skin and your hair, already feeling better.

Lathering soap against your legs you leant back and let your hand wander, feeling over your stomach, your breasts, pulling a nipple only slightly. You had a warm feeling coming from down below and it wasn’t because the water was warm. Almost a tingling, a pulse, an aching to be touched that couldn’t be ignored. You let your hand wander down till you were met with the soft curls and folds of your skin, dipping your finger between your lips, feeling over your sex. You were wet, not from water, it was much thicker than that, slick. Moving your fingers over your clitoris you stifled a noise from deep in your chest and closed your eyes thinking about Arthur. Thinking about him back in Colter with his shirt undone, the tone of his muscles flexing as he dealt with his wounds. Thinking about him doing this to you, running your fingers through his hair and gripping hold of his skin. Something was building in your pelvis, fire, something was going to explode if you kept touching yourself like this.

Soft moans escaped your lips, you couldn’t suppress them anymore, taking yourself right over the edge into orgasm, your body convulsing, your clit pulsing, your whole-body tingling with desire, a feeling you’d never felt before. An explosion and your mind clear.

You had just had an orgasm to the thought of Arthur Morgan. You bit down on your lip, embarrassed as you washed the soap from your hair and jumped out the bath. It was almost a shame to get changed back into dirty clothes as you were trying to focus on something else, trying to ignore the ache between your legs. You had to forget this ever happened, you had to meet up with Arthur again in a few minutes, how were you ever going to be able to look him in the face. You were almost regretting the fact you’d booked a hotel for you both, you just wanted to go back to camp and hide, but that would be a waste of money. Looking in the mirror, running you fingers through your hair you looked much more presentable. Grabbing your satchel, you went outside to find Arthur.

“There you are, Y/N. I was starting to get worried. Do you feel better after a bath?”

Your face turned a shade of pink and you just nodded not wanting to say anything daft. Quickly changing the subject, you looked over to the convenience store. “Did you get all you needed?”

“actually, yes. I did.” He pulled out some new clothes and handed them to you. “here. I thought you’d need some new clothes after having a bath.” He bought you some clothes? They were very similar to what you were wearing now, just clean and less torn up. The perfect size.

“A-Arthur, you didn’t have to do this for me.” You held the clothes close to your chest, although they were only clothes no one had ever done anything like that for you before. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Y/N. you wanna head back to camp now? Or stay here awhile?”

You were looking over the clothes, taking in the details. “well, um” you looked up to Arthur. “I actually booked a night for the both of us in the hotel over there, I wanted to go into the saloon later on and even more now I have these new clothes.” Arthur smiled at you.

“A night in valentine with a beautiful girl it is!” he looked at you and shook his head “sorry, Y/N. I am not sure how that came across! Don’t think bad of me. I can be so stupid sometimes.” He huffed and scratched his scar in his beard.

“I’m glad you think I’m beautiful.” You blushed and pulled him towards the hotel “come on, Mr. Morgan! I need to get changed!”

Heading into your room there was one double bed that was messily made up but a bed nonetheless you bit your lip without Arthur seeing and put your satchel on the floor and started unbuttoning your shirt. Arthur shifted away and turned around so he couldn’t see you changing. You turned around to see if he was looking but was a little disappointed when you found out he wasn’t, but he was a gentleman. Whether he thought so or not. He respected you. Getting into your new clothes you left the top button undone as always and looked into the mirror. The clothes fit you perfectly. Hugging you in all the right places. “I’m changed, Arthur” you smiled, and you could hear it in the way you spoke.

He turned around and looked at you, it took a while for him to talk, “you look... lovely Y/N...” your H/C hair was drying and falling against your shoulders, hugging your face. It was quite long now but you preferred long hair on yourself.

“Thank you, Arthur.”

“oh. Y/N. Sleeping arrangements, I’ll sleep on the rug. You can stretch out on the bed.” He smiled and left the room before you could say anything in return. Grabbing your satchel, you ran out of the room to find Arthur.

***

It was dark out now; the only lights were from within the saloon and the hotel behind you. It had been a long time since you last let your hair down and had fun, it had been a long time since you were able to not worry about bounty hunters, or a member of the group getting hurt or dying.

Walking into the saloon you were welcomed by drunken fools. Arthur was slouched over the bar waiting for you having already bought you a drink. “Y/N! There you are, I already got you a drink, whiskey. Not that you want hairs on your chest” he looked at your chest and then averted his eyes realising what he was doing. “shit, sorry Y/N.” you laughed and took the whiskey from him shooting it in one. “I never knew you could do that, a girl that can drink.” He nodded “I am pleasantly surprised.”

You were both there for several hours, bar fights were starting to break out and you both couldn’t even walk in a straight line, throwing your arms around Arthur you began to tumble.

“Mr. Morgan” you slurred, “I think its about time we did ourselves a favour and got the hell out or here before we end up like that guy.” You pointed to a man with a split lip, blood dripping down his chin.

“you’re probably right, let me just finish this drink.” Arthur threw his head back, falling backwards into crowds of people “Sorry, Mister!” you pulled Arthur up the best you could, and both stumbled out the saloon.

“That was the best night ever!” you laughed, clinging hold of Arthur trying to keep yourself steady, so you didn’t fall over into the mud ruining your new clothes. You slurred all over the place, your head spinning, your vision blurry, your head feeling like it wasn’t even attached to your body. Arthur did his best to get you upstairs and into your hotel room before flopping onto the floor next to the bed.

“Arthuuuur, what are you doing down there, come up here with me!” you pat the bed quite hard and you sat with your legs crossed, the whole room spinning around you.

“m’don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” Arthur was so drunk, his words blending in together, a little blood against his lips where he must have bit his tongue or lip by accident. His hat not even on his head properly. You got on the floor opposite Arthur and brought your hand up to his face, lightly wiping the blood away with your thumb. You took off his hat and placed it on the bed. You were staring at his lips; he was staring at you looking at his lips.

Not even five seconds went by and his lips crashed onto yours it felt urgent, Arthur Morgan was kissing you, your head went fuzzy as you leaned into him, gripping hold of his suspenders. You’d never kissed anyone before, so you followed his lead moving your tongue against his, sucking on his bottom lip. Your heart pounding hard against your rib cage, your nails digging into Arthur’s clothes, into his skin. His hands started wandering, over your breasts, rubbing his thumb against your hardened nipple. You started to get that rush down below like you had in the bath, it was stronger than it was, you wanted him to touch you so badly, you wanted him to make you orgasm, but you didn’t want your first time to be like this. You were both drunk, you wanted it to be special. You pulled away and he looked into your eyes, almost as though he saw your worry.

“Y/N. I’m so sorry. I... I. God. I don’t know what came over me.” He rubbed his face harshly with his hands “I am such a fool to think someone as beautiful as you could be interested in someone like me, an old ugly bastard. Please forgive me Y/N.” you were shocked by his words and how he spoke about himself.

“Arthur, no! I like you. I... I. really like you. I” you sighed deeply biting your lip not knowing how to say what you were going to without sounding stupid, “I want you” he looked up shocked at your words, “not just for, for this. I really like you Arthur, I don’t know how to control the feelings I have for you, I love being around you all the time, you make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel weird in my stomach, almost like butterflies are flying about in there or something but right now, well... it’s just... I’ve never, and we’re really drunk, and I.” he cut you off with a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth, your cheeks red with embarrassment after admitting to the man you liked you were a virgin. You covered your face with both of your hands suddenly not feeling so drunk anymore.

“Darlin’ thas’ nothin’ to be ashamed of.“ he took your hands from your face gently and held them in his. “we should get to sleep before we do anything else silly, huh?” he smiled trying to make light of the situation you were both in. he was shocked that you liked him and you were shocked that he didn’t cut you off completely.

“Arthur... can we cuddle tonight? Please?” he looked at you and smiled getting onto one slide of the bed.

“come here, darlin’” he held his arms out to you, just like he had back in Colter, and you crawled into his arms. The dizziness wearing off a little, a huge load off your shoulders after talking to Arthur even though you were both still drunk. Resting your head on his chest you listened to the steady pace of his heart that was quicker than normal. You smiled and closed your eyes drifting off to sleep and the room spun slightly around you. You were both going to have one major headache in the morning.


	5. Horseshoe Outlook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dutch starts getting on Y/N nerves
> 
> warning;
> 
> swearing- not much though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****************************************  
sorry this chapter is out a bit later than usual, I've been busy.  
more coming soon :)  
******************************************

You woke up before Arthur, his breathing heavy, he was in a deep slumber. You groaned and rolled over with a pounding in your head, you really had overdone the drinking, it was silly to do that really as you hadn’t drunk like that in a long time, if ever. Memories from the night before came back to you as you looked out the window onto Valentine. The sun was barley up, people were already working, you could have slept the whole day away, but you really did have to get back to camp, you looked to Arthur again who was still sleeping and shook him slightly.

“Hey, sleepyhead. We have to get up and get back to camp.”

You climbed over Arthur and started straitening yourself out in the mirror, thankfully you looked presentable without mud or sick in your hair.

“Hey, Y/N. what’re yer doin’?” Arthur stretched out in bed curling his toes. His little mannerisms made you smile, the way he itched his scar in his beard, how he stretched and the noises he made. How he would always talk to his horse when he rode her. People back at camp took advantage of him but you would never tell him that, though he probably already knew. The things Dutch made him do were scary, every time he went out for him you would wonder if he would ever come back, but Arthur would never stop. The loyalty he has to people was so strong and you could never get in the way of that, you weren’t even sure if he knew what happened last night, but you weren’t going to remind him.

“We have to get back to camp, don’t you think people will be wondering where we are?” Arthur looked a little bit hurt and you had no idea why.

“you, maybe. Me, no. when am I ever there really, Y/N?” He swung his legs over the bed, so he was sitting, grabbed his satchel and his hat standing up and stretching again.

“I always notice when you’re not there, Arthur. I worry about you terribly.”

He smiled at you “I know Y/N, but there’s no need t’worry about me, it’d take a lot to finish me off. Now let’s get back to camp.”

***

The ride back was quiet, even quieter than the one to Valentine if that was possible. “umm, Arthur?” he looked back to you and hummed, “I am sorry if I said or did anything daft last night.” He laughed and shook his head.

“You were perfect, Y/N.”

Arriving back at camp the whole place looked so different, camps all made, stew pot ready, it always amazed you how fast everyone could make a place look like home. The horses had their own place, there were places to sit and talk, campfires all around. As you got off your horse and into camp Dutch approached you.

“Y/N, Arthur! You took your time! What’s it like out there?”

All three of you stood around conversing about the town, what there was, what the people were like, the kinds of things you could buy and sell. You had hoped to lay low for awhile after the huge bust up in Blackwater, you didn’t need to cause any chaos here and make more enemies, but Dutch was starting to act a little strange, either he didn’t realise how wanted the group was or he was just getting greedy and always wanted more. It almost seemed as though he was only ever thinking about himself and not the family, he claimed to hold dear. You wouldn’t be able to do anything about it though. Arthur and the rest of the group were wrapped around his little finger, it was just something you had to deal with.

Dutch took you out of your thought process as he opened his mouth once more, “Y/N, your camp is over there.” He pointed to a shade of trees it was quite a lot further out from other camp members but you liked that, you liked to have a little privacy from people sometimes, especially when there were a few snorers among you, “Arthur, your camp is over there.” Dutch pointed to Arthurs camp, it was practically opposite yours, the other end of the camp which was fine but you couldn’t help but wonder why Dutch had put you both so far away from each other when there was space to be closer. You were starting to think that Dutch didn’t really like you two doing things together and that became a reality when you heard Dutch calling Hosea over to take Arthur out for a hunt that would last a few days. Did Dutch know you were sweet on Arthur, was it that obvious?

“Alright, Dutch. Going to grab a few supplies and then head out.” He looked at you, almost telling you not to worry about him and that he would be back. Arthur walked off and you shook your head looking to the floor, why did he always have to do everything Dutch told him to. You walked to your camp and sat on your cot, neatening out the old photographs around you.

“Y/N.” Dutch stood at the entrance of your camp with his usual stance, trouble plastered over his face he took a deep breath and looked at you. “I don’t want you to spend too much time with Arthur when he gets back. Obviously still talk to him, you do live with him after all, but no more private rides with him. It was my mistake to send you both out yesterday.” He sat down on your cot without even being invited, you were shocked but let him speak “Arthur is my right-side man and I don’t want him to start slacking because of some girl.” _Some girl? SOME GIRL?_ Your mind was screaming at you, your teeth grating against each other, your jaw shut so hard you could almost break teeth. “you understand what I’m saying, Y/N? I have a plan.” you nodded, and he walked off leaving you with your thoughts.

Dutch always had a fucking plan, his plans were shit, they always got the group in trouble, they always got people killed or arrested and now he was stopping you from going out with Arthur, he wasn’t your dad, he couldn’t tell you what to do, but he could tell Arthur what to do and you knew Arthur would do whatever Dutch said. Hell, he’d even jump off a mountain to his death if Dutch told him to. You felt defeated. You had to stop your feelings for Arthur somehow, if you didn’t you would only just get hurt. The only problem was that you couldn’t. he made you feel happy, he made you feel alive, like this life was all worth something.


	6. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strauss gives you things to do and you finally realise your true feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
I am sorry for how. long this took to update! more will be coming soon. Thank you for sticking with me.  
sorry for any Typos!

Dutch had really pissed you off. You did a lot for the gang and you wouldn’t change that. The fact he had literally just sent you off to Valentine with Arthur was beyond you now that he didn’t want you involved with him in any way.

Strolling around the camp with your usual morning coffee in hand, people could tell you weren’t happy, you had an almost sour face.

“Had a tiff with lover boy?” Micah sprung out of nowhere a huge grin on his face, “you look like you’re chewing on a wasp, y’know.” He could see he was annoying you even more and he lived for that, “Me and Lenny are off out now, wanna come Hussy?” your usual nickname from Micah, wonderful. You shook your head taking a last sip from your coffee and pouring the rest on the floor. Ignoring all the hand gestures Micah was doing in front of you, “Suit yourself then.” He gave you another smirk and went off in search of Lenny. Peace at last.

“Y/N!” maybe not! Charles met your gaze and smiled softly; Charles was one of the only other people you trusted fully in this group. You trusted everyone to a certain extent but if it ever came down to their lives or yours, you knew they would choose their own lives, but who wouldn’t. the only person that wouldn’t choose their own life was Arthur of course. He risks his life daily for everyone in this camp and no one ever realised that. “How are you feeling this morning, it’s a lovely day.”

“I am okay, Charles. This place is lovely.” You said looking over the trees, watching them blow in the slight breeze. It was well hidden and if there ever was a big storm you would be sheltered by them “I hope we can stay here for awhile without any trouble.”

“Me too, Y/N, me too.” Charles put his hand on your shoulder and walked off to join the rest of the group. You didn’t want to do that just yet, you would just get caught up in so much with people constantly asking questions as to why you looked the way you did, you were still so pissed off with Dutch so you were definitely going to avoid him. Walking over to the horses, you put hay down for them to eat. Doing all the chores around camp would kill time and keep your mind off that certain someone. With Arthur away you could see him much you liked him and how much you missed him. He hadn’t even been gone a whole day and you already missed him. You loved spending time with him, you could talk to him, laugh with him. You could be yourself around him without feeling like you weren’t good enough and had to pretend to be someone you’re not.

You were chopping firewood when Leopold Strauss approached you, “Hello, Y/N, once you’ve finished that, can I have a word?” you nodded and chopped that last pieces of firewood as he walked off towards the edge. The view was lovely as you walked to him. You hadn’t really had the time to stand and really look around you, how beautiful this country really was.

“What’s wrong, Strauss?” you pushed your hair from out of your face, you really should have thought about putting it up or in braids by now instead of leaving it down. Anything could happen with it down, it could get caught, someone could grab it, you just liked how it looked, you thought it suited you more.

“usually I would ask Arthur Morgan to do this, but I need your help as he isn’t here. I am an old man Y/N, I am not fit or fast enough to go tracking down our debtors.” It really annoyed you how Strauss used the money from camp to give to other people, it was a nightmare when Dutch was always going on about how the camp needed money when Strauss was doing that, yes there was interest on top but that wasn’t the point. It wasn’t fair on all the other people donating money and items to make the camp better.

“fine. Where am I going?” Strauss handed you a map with scribbles all over. You nodded and walked off towards your horse, this would keep you occupied and that is what you needed. Mounting your horse and giving her a friendly pat, you got out of camp before anyone could question it. Once you were further away from camp you pulled out the map to see where you should go first.

"Hmm, Mr Wrobel." you looked on the scribbled over map and decided to go there first. That place was pretty secluded so you hoped you wouldn't run into much trouble up there. Cantering alongside the river you smiled watching the wildlife move and rush around you. You would admire it so much more if you weren't an outlaw and weren't worried about being seen by O'Driscoll's all the time. You were getting close to the house, dismounting your horse, you walked up to the house and took a deep breath, a gun on your belt just in case. 

opening the door, you were almost face to face with Mr. Wrobel. “Mr Wrobel. I am here to collect the money you owe.” You were greeted with a foreign language, perhaps polish. You could hardly speak proper English, let alone a completely different language. Great. “Do you speak English? I don’t speak any other language. I am here to pick up debts that you owe. Maybe you know the name Leopold Strauss.”

“Leopold Strauss...” Ahh. So, he did know what you were there for, that was something. You hated doing this. You knew what it was like. Your dad met his fate with someone collecting debts and you were going to have to the same to this poor man if he didn’t cough up the money, he owed. You nodded looking at him, really hoping he would give you what you came for.

“I... I not have no money. No money here.” The words you didn’t want to hear left his mouth, even if they were a bit jumbled you knew what he was saying. He didn’t have the money, meaning you had to take matters into your own hands.

“You must have something here I can take for payment. You owe money, I am now here to collect it. If you cant give me anything, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.” You put your hand over your gun that was snug in your belt and he swallowed hard nodding.

“Check house. Take everything. Please. I not have money.” You started looking through all the drawers in his house, all the cabinets, chests, everywhere someone could keep valuable things. Taking everything, you could, listening to him protest about what you were taking. Once you looted his house you left with no word and rode off on your horse. You had just done something you never wanted to do. You were now officially as bad as the people that murdered your whole family. You had become someone your parents would hate. You know they would be so disappointed in you but thankfully they weren’t around to see what you had become. Wiping your eyes, you straightened yourself up and rode on. This life wasn’t for the fainthearted. You just had to keep on telling yourself that. All you wanted to do right now as be with Arthur, talking about nothing together. You just wanted to feel okay again, and you were only ever really okay when he was around. Putting the map in your satchel on your horse. You were going to go and find Arthur. You didn’t care what Dutch said or did. You had to tell Arthur how you felt. Rejection or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
See you in the next chapter, thanks for reading :)


	7. Finding Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
Thanks for continuing to support this fan fic. It means a lot to me :)

You had been riding around for quite some time now. Stopping and asking people if they had seen a raggedy cowboy with facial hair, old suspenders and a worn hat, riding a white Arabian horse with an older man. It didn’t sound so nice saying it out loud, but you loved how Arthur was, how he looked, how he sounded, just everything. You had asked around town, people with their horses on the outskirts and no one had seen him, or maybe they just didn’t want to stand around talking to you. Either answer was plausible. You could try and track but that would be so hard, leading you to any horse. You were about to give up when you saw a burned-out fire, it could have been anyone’s fire, but you recognised the empty cans nearby and the empty whiskey bottle. It could have been anyone but who in their right mind could chug a can of beans and then a bottle of whiskey after? Only your favourite outlaw of course. Getting closer to the fire and getting off your horse you kicked the embers, it was still warm so they couldn’t have left all that long ago. Mounting your horse once more you started following tracks from near the camp, it looked like two horses. You could just hope you were tracking the right people.

***

It was starting to get dark; you weren’t exactly scared of the dark, just what was in it. Bad people were around more at night and you didn’t want to get caught up in anything. Trotting on a little more you saw a small camp up ahead, two tents and two horses. One that you recognised all too well, an all-white Arabian, beautiful and sturdy, fast and Arthurs. Getting closer to the camp you got off your horse and made your way to the tents. You did have to be careful; you didn’t randomly want to get shot at because they weren’t expecting you. “Arthur?” you called out, probably a bit too loud. He stuck his head out of his tent and smiled.

“Y/N! What are you doing here?” he got out of his tent and sat around the fire. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until we got back. What’n earth you doin’ out here?” he was concerned, you could see how his brow furrowed, “is everything ok at camp?”

“oh, everything is fine Arthur, Strauss had me go and collect some debts and I bumped into your camp.” A little white lie, he would never know. He looked at you, worry plastered over your face.

“He what? Y/N, that is no business for a lady. You could have been hurt, or worse, killed.” He held your hand, checking over your arms for bruises or any sign of injury, “please, don’t do that again I know you like to help out, but that is dangerous. Anything could happen to a pretty girl like you.” You realised what he was saying, and he was right. Anything could have happened. You watched Arthur as he was still inspecting for the slightest injury.

“Arthur? I... I need to talk to you. Without being drunk this time.” You bit your lip hard making it bleed a little. You needed to tell Arthur how you felt. He nodded and motioned you towards the tent. Night had fallen and it was starting to get cold. You smiled and sat in his tent with him, snug and touching. “This brings back memories of us back in Colter.” Arthur smiled, a slight glow over his cheeks, “I wanted to tell you something Arthur, you don’t have to say anything in response, I just need to tell you before it eats me up inside. There’s a few points to it.” You rambled on hoping Arthur was listening. “Dutch doesn’t want me around you as much anymore, he’s picked up on a few things and he isn’t exactly wrong. So many people have picked up on it and I wouldn’t want someone else telling you. You see, I like you Arthur and I don’t mean as a friend, well, of course as a friend, but I like you more than that. I’m constantly thinking about you, constantly worrying about you when you’re not here. I love our talks; I can be myself around you and I can’t do that with no one... I” Arthur cut you off with a kiss, it wasn’t hard, but gentle and soft. It was different to your drunken kiss with him. You melted into him not really knowing what to do but following the movements of his lips. He tasted like whiskey and stale smoke, a taste you’d never thought you’d like together but this was different, this was Arthur. You were kissing Arthur Morgan. Again, and not whilst drunk! He kissed you deeper, a small moan escaped your lips. You looked down embarrassed, Arthur put his hand on your chin and lifted your head to meet his gaze. He kissed you again, his lips lingering on yours.

Arthur pulled away and looked into your eyes, “I like you too, Y/N. a lot more than I think you realise.” A blush spread across your cheeks and you smiled brightly at Arthur. You hadn’t been rejected. “And what d’you mean Dutch doesn’t want you to be around me?” you sighed.

“when you left, he came to me and said he didn’t want you getting distracted, told me to stay away basically. Doesn’t want us going out together anymore.” You looked down, you were hurt by this, how could you not be, “if he knew I was here with you right now, I dread to think how he would be with me. Probably kick me out of camp.”

Arthur shook his head, “then he’d be kicking me out too. I wouldn’t let you be on your own Y/N. I care about you way too much for that, I don’t think Dutch would do that though, he cares about the camp and the people.” You shook your head.

“You’re too loyal to him Arthur, it is going to get you killed one day and I am so scared because I feel as though," you paused, "that very day is only around the corner. Our group needs to lay low and Dutch is already talking about robbing banks and trains. We can’t afford to do this right now Arthur, why can’t you see that?” Arthur looked at you for a moment before lighting up a cigarette in the tent. You coughed and waved your arm around before crawling out. Arthur didn’t like being told the truth but you sure as hell was going to make him see who Dutch really was. Even if it would kill you.


	8. Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> returning to camp, Micah has been arrested and a hungover Arthur makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken me so long to update, ive been so busy recently but will continue to write when I have to time. I will finish this! so don't worry about that  
*************

The sun was shining the breeze was light, it was warm, and you were happy though that was all about to change as you trotted up to camp. You had decided to stroll in before Arthur and Hosea so Dutch wouldn’t suspect anything. Walking up to Dutch’s tent, you put in the debts you’d collected the day before, as well as a few items from your own satchel to contribute to camp. Flopping onto your cot, in your closed off tent you closed your eyes and waited for Arthur and Hosea to return.

Dutch approaches your tent slowly and called you out, “Y/N. Come to Valentine with me. Will buy you a drink.” You could hardly say no. Whatever Dutch said was whatever went. It couldn’t have been good; it was obviously going to be another one of his silly plans.

” okay, Dutch. Give me 5 and I’ll meet you at the horses.” You heard him light up a cigar and walk off as you washed your face and freshened up a bit, fixing your clothes that still had a light scent of Arthur on. Stale smoke and whiskey. You had stayed in his tent with him all night talking and laughing about a legendary bear Hosea had found and almost died finding it. You poked your head out of you tent and saw they had returned, Dutch was talking to Kieran with Arthur and Bill, though it wasn't really talking. more antagonising the poor boy, with all good reason but you had been on the receiving end of that once before, you couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. You stood outside of your tent fully now, the eyes of Arthur on yours, he gave a little nod of his hat and was on his way. That man was going to be the death of you.

Dutch saw your sly actions and huffed waving a hand in the air and walking off. Guess you weren't going to Valentine anytime soon with Dutch. Miss Grimshaw approached you with a sour face on, "What are you doing standing there not doing anything around camp? these men go off daily risking lives for people here and you're just standing there looking pretty, lots to do round here, too much to do round here. Get to work!" Miss Grimshaw was definitely one of those love to hate people, though she always meant well, it was obvious that her heart was in the right place. she cared about everyone in camp, or most people, even if it didn't show all the time. You crossed your arms over your chest and went over to Mary-Beth to help with the laundry.

***

It was later on in the day now; you had finished your daily chores around camp and were now sitting down listening to Javier. Arthur had been back for some time, but you had both decided to stay away from each other to keep Dutch happy for the time being. Too many things were happening and the last thing either of you wanted to do was get under anyone's feet. People were laughing and joking at Javier's past stories before the whole camp went silent as Lenny ran in, "They got, Micah!! Dutch, Arthur!"

"What's going on?" Dutch stepped away from his tent and Arthur followed closely. Everyone in camp looking to see what was going on.

"They got Micah. He, he's been arrested for murder." Lenny stuttered trying to get everything out in one breath, "He was in Strawberry and.."

"It's okay, son, breathe." Dutch waved his hands around gently.

"They nearly lynched me..." Lenny fell forward trying to keep as much balance as he could, breathing heavily, “they... they got Micah in the Sheriff’s in Strawberry... there’s talk of hanging him.”

You got closer so you could hear more, Micah probably deserved all that he got, yes you weren’t much better and neither were the people you rode with, but there was more than just an evil streak in Micah and one of the only people that felt the same way about him was Arthur.

“Here’s hoping.” Arthur cut in and you felt yourself smile.

“Arthur!” Dutch looked over at him shaking his head,

“What? Arthur shrugged his shoulders slightly, “That fool brought It on himself. You know my feelings about him Dutch.” Arthur was starting to get agitated and you frowned, you knew he would have to be the one to go and save him. “I ain’t saving that fool.” You walked away to let Dutch and Arthur speak. it was getting heated with both of them walking around each other, arms flailing.

“I can’t go,” Dutch shouted, “my face will be all over West Elizabeth. I am asking. He would do it for you!” Dutch was in Arthurs face now and although you weren’t near to them you could still hear and see the conflict between them. You shook your head, Micah wouldn’t do that for anyone in this camp, let alone Arthur.

“I don’t think he would, but fine. Alright.” You shook your head. Why did Arthur always have to do whatever Dutch said, hell. He would jump in front of an oncoming train if he asked him to. You wish just once he would listen to you. Arthur had stopped talking to Dutch and was now conversing with Lenny. He was going to take him out, get him drunk, you wish you could have gone with them, but you knew better than that. Dutch wouldn’t be happy. You watched them leave on their horses and turned in for the night.

***

You were woken early the next morning, the sun still not up. There was a rustling noise just outside your tent, slowly lowering your arm you grabbed your gun and stood up pointing it to the fabric sheltering your tent from the harsh winds at night. You took a deep breath as the tall figure entered your tent, you could tell who’s hat that was from a mile away, “Arthur!” you whispered harshly, not wanting to wake anyone nearby, “I nearly put a round in your head!”

“That’d be nice right about now.” He gripped the side of his head “what a night. Called ladies Lenny, nearly drowned folk, got arrested.” You looked at him wide eyed and made him sit down on your cot.

“Oh, Arthur. Can you not go anywhere without supervision?” you chuckled lightly in the back of your throat, looking down at the man you loved, god he was in a state. “here,” you removed his hat and let him lay down. You sat next to him and watched him close his eyes.

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re a fine lady and I am lucky to have you in my life. Someone like me don’t deserve someone like you. Come’ere” he scooted over in your cot making room for your frame, cuddling into him, his steady breathing turned heavy and you knew he had fallen asleep. This man in front of you was beautiful and you just wished he could see the good in himself just like you could. You sighed and leaned against him, his familiar scent warming you. You closed your eyes wondering how you were going to explain this to people in the morning.


	9. Mary Linton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N finds out about Arthur and Mary.  
-angst and heartache-

Arthur Morgan, you dirty stop out!” You were awoken by the sound of Dutch’s, stern but almost proud voice, “I heard about what you got up to last night and then Miss Grimshaw told me your bedroll hadn’t been slept on all night!” you could hear the smirk in Dutch’s voice and you smiled, Arthur had got up early, before anyone else to keep the suspicion at bay, Dutch wouldn’t have been the happiest if he knew Arthur had tumbled into your bed late last night.

“Yeah, sure, Dutch, sure.” The hangover was hard in his voice, it was heavy and muffled, laced with regret most likely. “‘m going to ger myself a coffee, I’ll see to Micah later.” You heard the heavy stride of Arthur’s boots on the ground and decided to get up. It was a lovely morning and people were already doing their chores and work for the day, the stew was bubbling away, Pearson adding the many ingredients he did, the girls were washing people’s clothes, you had people guarding the perimeter as always, you went to pick up some hay for the horses as Arthur approached you with two cups of coffee, “here...” he handed you a cup and you took it into your hands, your hands were cold and this cup of coffee was heavenly on them.

“Thank you, Arthur, you didn’t need to get me a coffee.” You smiled and took a sip, smiling as it warmed your insides. You always had coffee first thing, but it was the last thing on your mind this morning.

“I jus’ want to say sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have walked into your tent like I did, if it’s any better, I’m suffering a lot this morning.” His shoulders were slouched over, a hand over his gun belt and the other on his mug. He looked awful, but still lovely as ever.

“Oh, I don’t know, Arthur. I liked it. It’s nice to know I’m on your mind even when you are in a state.” You chuckled and watched him blush slightly, ducking his head and taking a swig of coffee as a distraction.

“Right then, I’m going to get seeing to Micah to my dismay. I was rather looking forward to seeing him swing.”

“ARTHUR!” Dutch bellowed out and you both jumped almost spilling your coffee all over the place, “Micah is one of us. No man gets left behind. Thought you’d both know better; don’t you have stuff to do?” Dutch looked at you, scoffed and walked off.

“Well. Thas me told, and you for that matter! Catch ya later, sweetheart.” The corners of your mouth upturned in a smile hearing him call you that. Arthur tipped the rest of his coffee on the floor and got on his way. You picked up the hay and got back to your usual daily duties.

A few hours had passed, you had since fed the horses, helped out Pearson by going out with Charles and bringing back a buck, helped the girls out with laundry, helped Dutch find a new pipe, you were just about to sit on your cot with a new book when Miss Grimshaw showed her face, “Y/N, would you come out to town with me? We need to check the post and get a few supplies” she got low into your face and whispered “seasoning, I can’t take another night of that flavourless stew.” You actually quite liked it, sure it was an acquired taste, but it was also comforting in its own way, it was home. Of course, you agreed to going with her, you would have got an earful if you ever said no to Miss Grimshaw.

Travelling out to Valentine, it was the middle of the day, the sun shining down on your face, everything quiet for once, no gunshots raining around you which was usually the case. Miss Grimshaw had gone off to the store whilst you went to pick up the mail. It was a short trip, but it was nice to get out of camp for a bit, nonetheless. Sitting back on the wagon you looked through the mail. Something for Bill, something for Pearson, something for Arthur? You looked at the sealed envelope quizzically, the writing so neat and so beautiful, definitely a ladies writing. Miss Grimshaw sat down next to you and took the reins. “Got the seasoning, who’s got what today?” she saw Arthurs letter on top and rolled her eyes, “bet that’s from that blasted Mary, never liked the girl myself, wish she would leave Arthur alone. Nothing but trouble, YA!” she flicked the reins and you started moving.

“Mary? Who is Mary?” Miss Grimshaw looked at you and look the letters from your hand, putting them in a box and into the wagon.

“Arthur didn’t say? It’s not like him to not mention her every chance he gets. Arthur and Mary were engaged several years ago.” It all made sense now and you felt kind of stupid, “she left him as she couldn’t deal with how life was. She writes him sometimes and he runs off to her beckoning every time.” Miss Grimshaw shook her head, “didn’t like her then, still don’t like her now.” The journey was painfully slow now. The sun wasn’t so bright, and your head was full of doubt and jealousy, you had no right to be jealous. Arthur wasn’t yours. You felt stupid and wanted to hide away, part of you even wanted to leave, but maybe this time Miss Grimshaw was wrong, maybe he wouldn’t reply. All you could do was hope.

Getting back into camp everything was still, there was no sign of Micah, but Arthur was back. He looked angry sitting on the edge of his own cot, hat off, head in his hands. You gripped the letters in your hands and gave them to their reciprocates before slowly walking over to Arthur. Part of you didn’t want to give it to him. You knew Miss Grimshaw wasn’t keen on her so you could have just ripped it up, burnt it and he wouldn’t have known anything, but you weren’t that kind of person, “hey, Arthur. Are you okay?”

He looked at you and sighed angrily running a hand through his growing hair, “shoulda just let him hang, had me shooting up half of Strawberry for some guns, like I need anymore attention on me, attention on the group. Shoulda left him, I told Dutch that. Shoulda bloody left him there.” You put your hand on Arthurs shoulder and smiled at him, handing over the letter.

“This was at the post office today; I’ll leave you alone to read it in peace.” You smiled weakly at him and turned away, tears threatening to spill over, all down your face. You felt pathetic, you shouldn’t feel this way at all, it wasn’t like you’d been with the group for years and years, you had no right to feel this way, but you did, and it hurt. It really fucking hurt, in your heart, in your soul. You flopped onto your cot, pulled over a deer pelt and let your tears fall freely.

By the time you walked out of your tent it was dark, people had already gone to their own tents, some people were probably already asleep. You walked through camp and up to your horse, patting her on the side of her neck. She was a good horse, the best and although it was sad, you liked talking to her, it was easier to talk to her than it was someone in camp. You were still somewhat new, and you didn’t quite know who you could trust, you trusted Charles somewhat, but what would he do with this kind of information, you trusted Arthur, but you definitely couldn’t talk to him about what was going on in your mind. You had already confessed your feelings to him so he must have known. Sorting out the reins on your horse, you were about to mount her when Arthur came up behind you.

“hey Y/N. Where are you going so late? Haven’t seen you much this evening. You okay?” he looked different, his hair had pomade in, he’d changed his clothes and shaved. He smelt like pine trees, not the usual whiskey, smoke and gun powder. You hardly recognised him. He looked nice, of course he did, but he didn’t look like **_your_** Arthur.

“I’m fine Arthur. Just going to take Y/H/N for a stroll around the area, where are you going?” there was a lump in your throat and if you were to talk now, he would know something was wrong. You had to keep it together just whilst he was still here, you knew he was going to see this Mary girl, you just wanted to see if he would tell you that. “m jus going out for a bit. Won’t be long. Take care out there, Y/N. you don’t know who’s lurking around these times of night. Get some awful folk out.” He leant over and kissed your cheek. How dare he. How dare he let you fall for him like this, how dare he make you believe there was actually a chance for you and him, why did he say all that stuff to you, was it just so he could lay down with you? Oh god how foolish you had been.

You nodded your head and mounted your horse, looking at Arthur again you pulled your hat down over your eyes, “Arthur.” With that you road out of camp, tears spilling your eyes once more over Arthur fucking Morgan.


	10. Pretty Lamb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N rides out of camp and gets injured.
> 
> \---  
full of angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
Thank you for continuing to read this, updates will be weekly <3  
\---

The ride out of camp was slow and tedious, even though you were pushing your poor horse to extremes. You weren’t even sitting on the saddle, you were leaning forward almost standing, gripping hold of the reins. The sound of her strides were heavy, her heaves filling the air. “I’m sorry, girl.” You pulled the reins coming to a steady halt, sitting properly and patting the side of her neck letting her calm down as you wiped your tears away using the sleeve of your blouse, the blouse Arthur bought you. All these memories came flooding back and you felt stupid, you and Arthur weren’t together, nor were you actually seeing each other, but you knew your feelings and you knew you hurt. You’d never been close to someone like you had with Arthur. It was different, new territory, new feelings and you were starting to regret even knowing him. Why hadn’t he said anything about Mary, if you had known about her, you wouldn’t have been this way. You would have never fallen for the outlaw.

You sighed deeply and got off your horse, laying down on a patch of grass, out in the open. Staring up at the stars, watching them twinkle in the night sky. Anyone could have gone past you, even O’Driscoll’s. You weren’t bothered. Right now, it was just you and your feelings, you and your feelings that were swallowing you whole and taking you into a deep, dark abyss. Closing your eyes and gripping hold of grass around you, sinking your nails into the earth, you let them take over.

It was early morning the next time you opened your eyes, they were sore and stuck together from the amount of tears you had cried, your hands filthy, mud under your nails. You wiped them over your blouse that you seemed to not care about so much anymore and stood up. Your horse still nearby as always. She wasn’t your first horse, but she had made a loyal companion and you couldn’t imagine being without her now. You had a beautiful Mustang before, but he died in the firing line back in Blackwater. This horse, Y/H/N was one of the spare horses from Colter.

You pulled yourself up and mounted your horse, pulling out an apple from your satchel and giving it to her, “there girl.” A firm pat to her neck and you were on your way, coming to a stop when you met Cumberland Falls, near Valentine. It was a lovely area, quite secluded, between big cliffs and several bright green trees. All you could hear was the waterfall and birds nearby. It was peaceful. Getting off your horse to let her graze, you walked near to the water to wash your filthy hands and your face that felt like you’d been stung by a million nettles. Sitting on a big rock you overlooked the place, taking in the scenery. You would have to go back to camp at some point, go back to see Arthur, probably with Mary. The horrible lump in your throat was coming back as you sobbed out not having to muffle them this time. You had done this to yourself, you hadn’t even stopped to think if Arthur already has someone, everything he told you had been a lie and you were just foolish to believe the things he had told you.

Kicking small pebbles on the ground you stood up, “don’t move, pretty lady” a sinking feeling in your gut hit suddenly. “You move, I’ll kill you.” This man’s voice was hoarse, chills ran down your back as you stood, “what’re you doin’ out here all alone? A pretty lamb like you,” he tutted, “anything could happen.” You heard him inch closer, his boots on the rubble below you, he was close, too close. You wanted to talk, warn him you weren’t alone, but you couldn’t speak. His arm wrapped around you, the other holding a solid blade against your neck. You had to act quickly, or your life would be cut short, you weren’t ready to die.

It all happened in seconds. Clenching your eyes shut, gripping the gun slowly in your belt, gaining courage, you threw your head back, hearing a low crunch, and a yelp from the man, the blade slicing only the side of your neck gently, but definitely enough to make you bleed. Gripping your gun hard in both of your hands. The man was stumbling back with a hand over his nose, blood visible between his fingers... you exhaled and pulled the trigger. Something Arthur taught you, always pull the trigger on empty lungs.

A limp body on the floor in front of you, blood pooling around them. A tight feeling in your chest, your breathing laboured and heavy, you hunched over trying to keep your balance but failed falling into your knees. How did the men do this every day? Granted, this person was going to kill you, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Your horse nuzzled her face against your hair, strands of it falling over your eyes as she breathed, “I’m good girl, I’m good.” You hugged her nose and stood up thankful that no one had seen, but they would have heard the shot. Although this area was secluded it wasn’t all that far from civilisation. You had to get out of there before you were seen and brought yet more trouble onto the camp. Pulling yourself up onto your horse, everything felt heavy. Your body almost as limp as the person you just killed. You touched the side of your neck and winced pulling it away covered in blood. You were shaking, your vision cloudy, the top right part of your once all blue blouse was now covered in blood, how were you meant to explain this? You were sure Dutch was going to kick you out now and there was no way Arthur would stick up for you now his Mary girl was back.

Pulling up to the usual entrance to Horseshoe Outlook, Sadie called out, “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Y/N.”

“Welcome back, Y/N.” You strolled up further, “didn’t see you around last, woah!” panic filled Sadie’s voice, “we need help! Y/N’s injured!” you heard the commotion in camp as Sadie ran up to you, helping you down from your horse, “What happened?” her gun was on the floor, her hand over your neck stopping the blood though it wasn’t bleeding as much now.

“I killed someone, Sadie. I... I actually killed someone.” Defeat was in your voice. Your eyes were glassed over, this had changed you, the way you felt was different, like a switch had been turned off, although you were travelling with a big group of people that had broken the law, and you had too, you had never killed someone before.

“Oh, Y/N.” You sank to the floor, your knees finally giving way, Sadie got onto her knees and Miss Grimshaw came running up with supplies, shortly followed by Charles. Her eyes wide, it probably looked worse than it was. A slice to the neck was always going to get a lot of attention. It was as though everything had been slowed down, people running around you were in slow motion, calling you, asking if you were okay, you couldn’t reply, nothing in you was working properly anymore. Your eyes closed and you went limp in Sadie’s arms, but not before seeing Arthur run from a distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---  
If you're enjoying, don't forget to leave Kudos and comments, or ask for your own imagine on my Tumblr- arthurmorganismaboah


	11. Sadie Adler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N wakes up and talks to Sadie  
_____  
You will have to excuse the summaries, I know they are awful. I suck at them!  
_____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me, i'm back to writing quite regularly after a spot of writers block. Hope you enjoy and see you in the next.  
don't forget you can also find me over on tumblr- arthurmorganismaboah  
_______

It was bright, really bright when you opened your eyes. It felt like they hadn’t been open in years and someone was shining a lantern in them that was somehow ten times brighter than it usually was. “Y/N?” You turned your head slowly, but it still felt too fast. Sadie was next to your bedside. You went to talk but were shushed by her. Sadie was becoming one of your best friends here, it probably had something to do with the fact you were both quite similar. You both didn’t like huge skirts and dresses like the rest of the girls, you were both more happy strolling around the place in pants and having proper jobs to do, not that laundry wasn’t a real job because it was, you both just wanted to do more than that, more in-depth things. “Welcome back, sweetie.” She dabbed your forehead with a cool cloth, down the side of your neck that wasn’t injured and back again. “Close your eyes and get some more rest, I used to do this to my dear husband when he was unwell.” She sighed and continued dabbing your forehead, “god rest his soul.”

When you awoke the second time around no one was nearby. You slowly sat up and felt your neck, it had been patched up nicely. Probably by Miss Grimshaw or Charles, they were usually the ones that dealt with injuries. Your bluek blouse was folded up on the chair next to you, clean, not a drop of blood on it. How the girls got blood out of clothes time and time again was beyond you. A cotton blanket and a perfect deer pelt covering your modesty.

You sat looking over your body, the scuffs and scrapes, the bruises and previous cuts that had led to scars. You were probably going to have a scar on your neck now, but that kind of thing didn’t bother you. It would be hidden by your hair anyway. You flung your legs over the side of your cot and stood up. You didn’t know how long you had been out for but oh god were you dizzy, stumbling, you grabbed hold of the chair, picked up your blouse and sat down.

A groan escaped your lips as you started rummaging through your trunk and pulling out a clean chemise. If anyone were to walk into your tent now, they would be greeted with you fully exposed, so you hurried and slipped it over your head, pulling your arms through. Getting dressed was a huge effort, you’d never known it to be such a chore before.

Standing up again, gripping hold of the chair, you pulled up your pants and buttoned up your blouse that looked good as new, tucking it in. Pulling your leather suspenders over your shoulders, you were finally dressed. Your head was pulsing. Maybe you had lost more blood that you first thought. You sat back down on your cot and pulled on your boots, grabbed your hat from the other trunk and ran your hand over it slowly. It was starting to look really worn, some of the leather had been scuffed quite badly and the old stitching around it was starting to show. It would have to be patched up soon. Looking into a mirror, you fixed your hair and put your hat on.

You stood and stared at yourself for awhile, not recognising the person staring back at you anymore. You were no longer that innocent girl in Blackwater that only robbed to save her families fate. You were now an outlaw and it had only just dawned on you. This whole group was wanted in several states. That person you killed might have been the first, but you knew deep down it wasn’t going to be the last.

Grabbing your gun belt and tightening it around your waist, you placed your gun and knife in their holsters, turning down the frame next to your bedside, an old picture of your family.

You were about to walk out of your tent when Arthur walked in, your heart dropped, the smell of stale cigarettes and whiskey taking over your small living space.

“Y/N, you’re awake.” He looked down to his boots, his hand resting against his belt. Arthur looked bad, almost as though he hadn’t slept for weeks, a change from how you last saw him. You took a seat on your cot and he sat on the chair next to it. You didn’t have the energy or the heart to plead with him, ask him about Mary, who she was, why he said everything he did to you. You didn’t have it in you and even though you were so upset, your feelings for him were still there and they were going to be for a long time.” You shouldn’t be out of bed, Y/N. You lost a lot of blood. You, you... I, I told ya t’be careful out there!” His voice made you wince. You could tell he was angry, and he had no right.

“What do you want, Arthur?” Your voice was cold, colder than it was in Colter. No emotion in your face. You were drained.

He looked at you, your eyes were different. They were sad, “was worried about you! Thought you were dead when I saw the blood.” You shook your head, a slight stinging on your neck as you did.

“No, you weren’t, Arthur. You were out with Mary.” His facial expression sunk, “I need to do some chores now. Please ‘scuse me.” You stood up battling the dizziness and walked off leaving Arthur alone with his thoughts. People around camp were surprised to see you up and ready for the day, but no one questioned it, you had to heal quickly if you were living this kind of life.

“Y/N!” Arthur called out, but you ignored him. Dutch watched from a distance as you grabbed a coffee, he was probably loving this. You started getting on with the things that needed doing round camp.

***

Dawn turned to dusk; you hadn’t stopped working. It was Sadie that came over in the end with a bowl of stew, telling you to take a break. You had worked yourself to breaking point and you knew everyone was looking at you, you knew everyone was probably wondering if you had finally cracked. You stopped and wiped the sweat from your brow, strands of hair stuck to your face.

“thanks, Sadie.” You took the bowl from her and started eating, your neck was quite sore and probably needed to be cleaned and patched up again, but you would see to that later. Finishing the rest of the stew you looked around, putting the axe down on the floor.

“Think we have enough firewood for the rest of our lives here, Y/N!” Sadie looked over the several rough pieces of chopped wood as you looked over camp, Arthur wasn’t around and why you were still bothered about that you didn’t know. He was probably out with Mary again.

“you know, Y/N. Its good to see you up and on your feet again but please don’t push yourself too hard. It was a nasty cut you got on your neck; me n Arthur didn’t leave your side.”

“Arthur?” you questioned Sadie.

“yes, Arthur. He was real worried about you, Y/N. Anyone would have thought you meant a great deal to him. He didn’t leave your side till I told him to get some rest. Please excuse my question but Is there anything goin’ on between you two?” you sighed and looked to Sadie, putting the stew bowl to the side of your person on a nearby log, you would put it with the others later.

“Not here.” You sat away from other people conversing with Sadie, telling her your feelings, finally telling someone other than Arthur how you felt.

“Oh, Y/N... Arthur cares a great deal about you, an idiot could see that. Talk to him.” You shook your head.

“He’s not here Sadie and, and, Mary. I don’t want to hear about it” Sadie patted you on the leg and smiled at you.

“Give him a chance. Everyone here gave me one when I lost my dear husband.” You nodded and sighed. She was right, you’d have to talk to Arthur eventually. You lived together; you didn’t want there to be anymore bad blood between people. Standing up and giving her a nod, you retraced your steps, picking up your stew bowl and putting it with the others. Walking to the opposite side of camp you picked up a few clothing items of Arthur’s that had been washed and dried to take back to his tent.

Sadie had listened to you, not called you foolish or naïve, you really liked Sadie and could see a good friendship forming. You wanted to be at least friends with everyone, though you couldn’t see yourself being all too friendly with Micah, or Dutch for that matter, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try.


	12. All is forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N finally speaks to Arthur. Dutch isn't impressed.  
_________

Arthur wasn’t in his tent when you got there, you went to put his laundry on his cot when the pictures near his bed caught your eye. You’d never seen them before, and your curiosity took the better of you. Mary. She was beautiful. Her hair back in a bun, flawless, natural beauty. You could see why he liked her so much, you hated comparing yourself to people, but you were the opposite of Mary.

“Y/N...” you jumped, dropping the picture on the side, and his newly cleaned clothes on the ground. Arthur was in camp; you had no idea. Taking a deep breath, you turned to him.

“Who... who is she Arthur? Everything you said to me... was it, was it a lie?” Your lip was quivering, you were doing everything you could to keep it together but seeing him standing there in front of you, you couldn’t. You sat on his cot and put your head in your hands, “have I been a fool Arthur? I fear I’m breaking my heart. I fear I’m breaking my heart over you.”

“Y/N…” Arthur took a seat next to you. You could hear him fidgeting around, either to get comfortable or because he felt so awkward. “It’s not like that, me n Mary, we ain’t been together a long time.”

“So why did you get all dressed up? You don’t do that round me.”

“I’m frowned upon by Mary, Y/N. She’s... well, I don’t know what she is but she ain’t you. No ones you. I went to help Mary cos I feel like I owe it to her, I ruined a good portion of her life and there ain’t no getting that back for her. I ain't a good man, i've done and still do bad things. I dragged her through all that. I made the effort because I felt like I had to. I can’t be myself around most folk. The reason I don’t get all dressed up around you is because I know I don’t have to, you take me as I am, you take me as me. Not sure why you want this ugly bastard around but I’m not complanin’” you stayed quiet listening to Arthur, you knew he must have loved people before you, you weren’t even sure if he actually felt for you in that way, or not just yet anyway.

“I’m sorry, Arthur, I just…” You sighed “she’s beautiful, everyone around camp is beautiful, I’m really not, compared to anyone in this camp, I’m young, I’m inexperienced, I’m quite new to this life and it’s not easy and now I feel like I’m muddling in something and I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“Sweetheart” he chuckled lightly and put his hand on your leg, “I haven’t known you all that long and you already mean a lot more to me than Mary ever did, it’s scaring me. I could lose you at any point in this life. I’m a wanted man, if people knew how I felt about ya. Damn. They’d use that to their advantage. I shoulda said somethin’ and m sorry I didn’t. Don’t compare yourself to others in camp, or Mary, or anyone… look at me” his finger was underneath your chin lightly pulling. You looked at Arthur, tears in your eyes that still hadn’t fallen, using his thumb lightly he wiped under your eye, his rough hands felt soft against your face as your tears fell, “You are beautiful, Y/N, beautiful. Wouldn’t want ya any other way” you sniffled looking into Arthur’s eyes, seeing if you could see any hint of a lie, but all you could see was loyalty. He was loyal to everyone in his life, past and present and that did include Mary. You felt a little silly for making mountains out of mole hills, he went to help Mary, not lay down with her. You sighed.

“I’m real sorry, Arthur.” He shook his head and smiled pulling you into his chest knocking your hat off. He kissed the top of your head and breathed you in.

“No need, sweetheart. No need. I ain’t been with anyone in a long time, years in fact. I know it’s new to you, but to be honest with ya, it’s all pretty new to me now too.” You wrapped your arms around Arthur’s waist tightly and his breathing hitched hard in his lungs. You stayed like that for a long time before you were taken out of your little bubble to Dutch standing in the entrance of Arthur’s tent. You both jumped and moved away from each other.

“Am I interrupting something?” Dutch stood, his arms crossed, obviously annoyed.

“Dutch, I. What is the problem?” Arthur was actually standing his ground which surprised you. “You’ve been going round the place for years with people. Susan, Annabelle, Molly. What the hell is your problem?”

“You’re getting caught up in things that shouldn’t be meddled with. I have a plan, Arthur and this, whatever this is.” He looked at you sternly whilst swirling his hand around in a circle, “is going to interfere. I need you on solid ground here, Arthur. Not skipping through flowers with your head in the clouds.” He stood up, squaring up to the man.

“Your plans ain’t doin’ good to anyone in camp so far, Dutch. Starting to wonder where your priorities lie. People have died and we’re still running around acting like, like goddamn idiots” Arthur’s voice was raised and you knew people were going to be standing around listening.

“I thought better of you, son.” Those words obviously got to Arthur as his shoulders slouched, Dutch gave you a cold stare and turned around, walking out of the tent.

“He actually hates me, Arthur” you shook your head and sighed, wondering what you had done to get in his bad books. You’d never take Arthur away from his duties in and outside of camp, even if you wanted to Arthur wouldn’t, but you wouldn’t do that. You knew how many people depended on him. It must have been such a strain.

“I’ll talk to him, Y/N. Don’t worry yourself about a thing, he’ll come round. Guess everything that happened in Blackwater is still breathing down his neck, I know it’s still breathing down mine.” You nodded and Arthur left the tent. You picked up his clothes that you dropped on the floor earlier, and the picture of Mary. Putting your hat back on you left his tent and went back to your own. You had to prove yourself to Dutch. You just didn’t know how. He needed to know that you were trusted, and he needed to know that you weren’t going to cause trouble for his right-hand man.


	13. Robbing Banks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All has been smoothed over with Dutch for now and Valentine bank is in for a shock.
> 
> _____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for how long this chapter took to get out, I've had a lot of things to do outside of writing. There will be some smut coming up in next chapters. Thank you to everyone that leaves kudos and positive comments. It means the world to me :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will see you in the next one.
> 
> Tumblr- Arthurmorganismaboah
> 
> xoxo

A few weeks had passed since the last bust up in camp. You had put your head down and did all the jobs Dutch asked you to. Micah was back in camp now after a score with Arthur, he was good at doing small scores here and there. What he wasn’t good at was doing them quietly. Sean was also back in camp with the help of Kieran who was now, kind of one of the group, though the men, specifically Arthur hadn’t warmed up to him all that well yet, despite him saving his life that you thanked him for profusely. Nothing else had really changed, other than the usual hunting for O’driscolls, specifically Colm and the fact that later on today you were going to town with Arthur, Bill and Lenny to Rob the bank.

As you were getting ready into one of Karen’s fancy gowns, Arthur came to join you in your tent, things had cooled off with Dutch, he still didn’t approve but you had done a lot for the camp recently and proved that you could be trusted.

“Hello, beautiful” Arthur stood at the entrance of your tent, a big smile plastered on his face. He had been smiling so much recently and it made you happy.

“Hello, Arthur.” You stood with your back to him, moving your hair out the way as he helped do up the gown from behind.

“You sure you wanna do this, sweetheart? Can always get someone else to do it.” It was more for his sake, he cared about you greatly and didn’t want you getting hurt, especially after nearly getting your throat cut. He swallowed hard, tracing his finger along the visible mark against your neck. It had healed well, though it was going to scar. It was visibly pink, with scratched scabs where you’d been at it, though you had been told time after time that picking the scabs would make the scar heal badly, but still with time it would fade to a more silver tone so you didn’t give a damn. He finished doing up your gown and paused for a second shifting around behind you.

“I’m sure, not like I’ll be doing much anyway, right?” You turned around facing Arthur, evident makeup on your face. You’d never worn it before, the girls had helped apply it. You looked different and it definitely wasn’t you. Rosy cheeks, red lips, it was all very strange. Arthur smiled at you moving a stray hair from your face, all he wanted to do was kiss you, but it wasn’t the time to be scrubbing lipstick off his face, “do you like this look, Arthur?” You looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“You’re always beautiful to me, y/n of course you are, but this ain’t you.” You smiled wide at his answer. You weren’t going to start wearing tons of makeup for anyone.

Arthur looked at you shyly and then to his muddied boots as he reached into his pocket, “wanted to give you this, woulda waited for a better time… it ain’t much but,” he shrugged handing you a small wooden box. A beautiful necklace, small and dainty with a small stone in the middle you stood looking at the necklace and to Arthur repeatedly not knowing what to say. No one had ever been so lovely to you.

“Arthur, I” he smiled at you taking the box from your hands.

“Turn round, darlin’” you did as he said as he put the necklace around your neck. Holding the small stone in your hand you shook your head.

“How did you know my favourite colour?” You questioned.

“Now that’d be tellin’!” He chucked deep from his chest as he fastened it, “didn’t steal it or nothin, the money was mine. Kinda...” you smiled and shook your head. You knew it wasn’t stolen without him even saying so. Arthur kissed your neck once more and ran his fingers lightly up your arms, letting your hair cascade down your back, beautiful locks almost swallowing your shoulders. Your hair had grown a lot the past few weeks and needed a trim, it suited this look well.

“I’m never taking it off.”

Fixing yourself up more, the tight corset digging into your ribs you wondered how women did this daily, you slipped on your shoes and left the tent with Arthur, Sean standing nearby getting coffee.

“Well look at you two, fun in there English? Can’t see no lipstick on your face, bet it’s elsewhere though.” his eyes glanced towards his southern region. Sean and his usual Irish tone almost echoing.

“Oh, get lost you cheeky, sod!” Arthur waved his hand about shooing him off, his words had made you blush, but thankfully you already had rosy cheeks from the makeup. They had a love hate relationship. Sean was too loud for Arthur; Arthur was too quiet for Sean.

***

The ride to valentine was quiet and unnerving it was cold as you had a lot of skin on show, especially in the chest area. Way more than you were used to, and it made you a bit uncomfortable, but it had to be done. You didn’t bring your own horse with you, instead you were riding side saddle with Arthur. Your arms wrapped around him tighter than ever. You were nervous, you had done things around camp, you went out hunting regularly, you’d do the odd pick pocketing so you could contribute to the camp pot, but this was your first ever big job and it was daunting. You had already caused too much havoc around Valentine, shot the place to hell, or not you per se, but the group and you were all one team. You definitely wouldn’t be sticking around here; it would be time to move out as soon as the job was done.

“We”re gonna send Y/N on in ahead as a distraction.” Bill went on to say, you already knew the plan as it was talked out in camp before setting off. Arthur and Bill were conversing about how it could all go wrong, shooting will start, not all that reassuring. You couldn’t let anyone down, you had to do this, clearing your throat you started to speak.

“So, who should I play? Lost little daddy’s girl or a drunken harlot?”

The other men told you to play as the drunken harlot, Arthur was rather quiet and didn’t speak up about the matter. You nuzzled into his back being careful of your makeup and sighed deeply seeing the valentine sign. This was it. Hitching the horses, Arthur helped you off the back and smoothed out the ruffled creases, “beautiful.” He smiled adoringly at you and nodded his head to everyone, “ready?”

“As ready as ever” you smiled at Arthur and walked off before the men, thinking it was better time than any to play as a drunken mess. Taking a deep breath you stumbled through the banks doors, from outside they would be able to hear the commotion, people telling you to leave, you played it quite well seen as though you were put on the spot, pulling out a gun that was hidden in your petticoat, you pointed it at the civilians, “put your god damn hands up, now! This is a robbery!” The men smashed open the doors and joined you, their faces covered with bandanas, cocking their guns at people.

“Nobody move!” Chorus of shouts ran out as people stayed quiet, your gun against people heads. Arthur went around the back, his voice raised shouting at someone to open the vaults. You’d never really heard him shout so much but you tried not to think about it too much. You could hear the commotion; you could hear Arthur’s gun smashing into someone’s face. It wasn’t the time to think about it, you had to push it into the back of your mind. This was for camp; this was for your people. It had to be done.

It was taking quite a long time but you had to get that for Arthur so he could do his job, “we got trouble” Bill came running in through the bank doors, “hurry up in there, law on our back.” Everyone took cover as people started running out the bank screaming and crying for their families, for their lives. Sitting there watching the other men, you couldn’t move, instead you ruffled up your skirt and legs as close to the wall as you could to protect yourself from spraying bullets that would fill the bank very soon.

“M done” Arthur ran to where you were and took cover, “this ain’t good, Bill. We’re gonna have to shoot our way through this.” Arthur looked at you sympathetically, handing you your gun that was next to you, “alright, darlin?” You nodded to Arthur ignoring the thumping in your chest as you took the gun from him. Squeezing your eyes shut you got ready to start firing.

The sound of shots filled your ears making them ring. Bodies falling on the floor, even the odd horse which hurt your heart. Blood was everywhere. This was carnage. What started off as a tally in your head of how many people you had shot, became a tally of guilt that you couldn’t keep up with. “Let move. NOW.” Arthur was loud but you followed, shots still firing out but dying down, the odd few barely skimming your skin. The horses weren’t far, but it was very obvious you would have to be moving along as soon as you got back to camp. Climbing onto the horse behind Arthur, your skirt up to your hips, not worrying about riding side saddle now. You had to get out of there.

Losing sight of people and Valentine everything came to a halt. “We did well, but we have to split up.” Arthur spoke breathless as he gave everyone their share and kept the overall for the camp with him. “We’re going to have to move out soon. I’ll meet you all back at camp.” You clung onto Arthur, afraid to let go. You also hoped he wouldn’t get off the horse right this minute with the other men nearby. If he were to get off now, they would definitely see up your skirt. They were already trying not to look at your exposed legs.

“Let’s go girl.” Arthur patted his horse on the neck and clicked his tongue, riding away from the others. You buried your face into his back, not caring about the makeup anymore, you were riding for a long time. It was almost dark when he stopped. With a huge sigh he got off his horse and looked towards you. “Come here darlin.” You shuffled up the horse and leant forward hoping to get off in a more dignified way, without showing Arthur everything up your skirt, but ended up with it getting stuck and rolling up to your hips, your bum definitely on display with the cool air getting your skin. You could hear Arthur chuckling behind you, and not in a malicious way. “I love you, Y/N.” the words had you shook, the skirt of your dress gently falling to where it should be and covering your modesty. You looked to Arthur who was all red in the face, the words had obviously just fallen out of his mouth, “I, I’m sorry.” You shook your head and flung your arms around Arthur kissing him deeply as he was taken aback by surprise, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, pulling you into his person he kissed you back.

“I love you, Arthur.”

**Author's Note:**

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Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed.  
see you in the next chapter  
xoxo  
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